Vol. 17, Issue 4
Choosing Humility for the Path Ahead
Sitting with hundreds of couples over the past twenty years has been healing not only for them, but also for me and my marriage. If I could rewind time and speak to my younger self, I would tell him to pay close attention to what he is allowing to influence his heart.
I have come to understand that experiences become memories that shape how we process emotions, how we think thoughts, and, ultimately, how we make choices.
Many experiences that mold our hearts and become part of our memories are beyond our control. Some experiences are good, but, some experiences, unfortunately, are not. When we experience moments that are painful, the tendency is to respond in one of two unhealthy ways. We either suppress the memory which numbs our emotions; or we obsess over it allowing the pain to consume our thoughts.
Both suppressing and obsessing are detrimental to true healing in Christ. The negative experiences begin to consume our every thought. They breed bitterness and move our focus to ourselves. We give these thoughts control over our identity, our relationships, and even our view of God. We practically worship our pain and make it a god in our lives.
This very thing—this unresolved emotional pain was what I did not understand in my younger days. This pain had slowly repainted the way I saw myself, my friends, my wife, my marriage, and sometimes my God. I had left my heart unguarded. I had left the door open to conflict, pride, anger, rebellion, hypocrisy, and moral failure. These are the responses to deep unresolved pain. Ultimately, these negative responses destroy us and all those we hold dear.
So, how do we move toward healing, you ask. It begins by embracing the emotional pain. Not blaming others for it but owning it as our own. This may mean sitting with a trusted friend or a professional therapist and giving a voice to the pain. This first step is a powerful act of resolution.
Next, identify the lies. You may have believed certain lies in connection with your pain. Lies that come in thoughts such as, “You’re not worthy,” “You will always be alone,” or “God has abandoned you.” Once you identify them, remove their power over you in prayer. Call them out as lies and renounce them with the Truth of Christ.
Then—and this is the hard part—release all the bitterness toward the offender. Choose to humble yourself. Choose to pay the price for the pain and the consequences that they have caused you. It may sound counterintuitive, but this single act of forgiveness frees your heart from the prison of anger which allows true healing to finally begin.
As adults, we must become aware of the emotional challenges that we are faced with and intentionally decide how we will respond to them. As a culture, we have not done well in producing emotionally healthy hearts. Those same wounded hearts are raising children and directing a nation.
However, healing is possible! It begins with just one heart—yours—mine.
In the end, true Biblical humility is not based on a feeling but a choice. A choice that allows us to follow the path that Christ modeled for us. A path that leads to healing and joy.
Steve & April Swartz
Executive Director
From Our Women’s Ministry Director
My first month at Haven of Hope has been spent getting settled in my office, and meeting with individual women. It has been an honor and a privilege to begin establishing relationships with those who are seeking extra mentoring through Haven of Hope Ministry. I look forward to helping more women of all ages identify and resolve spiritual, emotional, and relational challenges that will bring healing and restoration through biblical-based mentoring.
As I look out my office window, I notice the winter wheat that has been cultivated. As we endure the bitter cold and snow this winter, may we “snuggle up” with Jesus as we mature and grow in our faith. Like the wheat that symbolizes abundance, spiritual growth and God’s provision for His people, may we draw closer to Jesus as He nourishes our hearts. This winter, I would love for you to partner with me in prayer for the women’s ministry at Haven of Hope.
Some specific prayer requests:
Holy Spirit would lead wherever He wants us to go!
BBFR curriculum for women’s groups that is currently being edited
God would provide more women mentors
Development of the women’s ministry in community connection ~ small groups and retreats
Women of all ages to strengthen their faith and hearts to heal
Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. —Colossians 4:2
Beth Foltz
Women’s Ministry Director
Connection Groups for Couples:
“Despite the healing we experienced during our intensive, we struggled to connect emotionally. Through the BBFR Connection Group, we learned that we both had barriers around our hearts preventing us from being vulnerable with each other. We learned how to make an emotionally safe space where we could be open with one another, and as a result we were able to experience emotional connection. We also learned that in order to maintain an emotional connection we couldn't be passive and simply hope things would go well, we needed to do the work.”
—Robert & Sarah Rose
Have you completed a week-long intensive or a Two Hearts One Flame Marriage Retreat but long for more? We invite you to join an in-person or virtual BBFR Connection Group. Opportunities are available weekly. Simply click the button below to register for a group in your area.
Receive Training at HOH
Are you a pastor, lay pastor, life coach, soul care provider, counselor, mentor, small group leader, or someone who just wants to learn more about caring for other’s hearts? Haven of Hope would like to equip you!
We offer onsite personal training at our facility. Couples and individuals can observe live sessions, from start to finish, through video and audio feed in our private training room. Our mentors walk with the trainees through the whole process answering their questions. Trainees will learn practical concepts and practices that they can apply in their own walk with the wounded.
For more information on fees and availability, call 616-693-2925 or email melissa@havenofhopes.com.
New Resource-
Pathways Prayer Journal Coming Soon
We are excited to launch our new “Pathways Prayer Journal.” This journal will allow individuals to practice the Journey of My Heart tool during their daily walk with the Lord. Reach out to us today at 616-693-2925 to preorder your copy.
From Our Clients
